The day I got some "head"

Whew Lawd...I never ever thought I'd see the day where I'd blog about certain hazards. But, in light of a recent event that occurred in my life, it is a must that I do so, simply because, if I don't do it now, I may not live to warn y'all about this phenomenon. Now I usually exercise caution with most things I do in life...I am very observant by nature, and I am pretty good at detecting warning signs for potential complications and "mishaps", (spoken like a true nurse...awww!) but I did not see this one coming at all. This blog entry will be about something serious, something I'd like to refer to as:

HAZARDOUS SEX

A little while ago, I was in a bedroom just minding my business, when my bf walked in and gave me that "look"...the look that says it all, followed by the wink & the gun, wink wink, tongue click and 2 thumbs up. Next thing u know, my clothes were coming off, like "Oops! Oh my!" and we were getting it in. Switch positions, it's now him on top, putting in major work. Everything felt real good, our bodies were doing all the talking, reacting, responding, synchronizing needed for the cause. Then the bed started moving. But he's on top, and if I'm paying attention to everything, then I figure, he should be doing the same thing, right? I mean it's only fair. Right??!
Wrong! I keep forgetting that men do not think like women do, and that most of them can seemingly only focus on one task at a time. So back to this moving bed, with the motion created by the "ocean" it appeared that the bed moved 2 feet away from the wall...and from the headboard. Ok so it was my fault that the headboard was not screwed in properly, but that's not the issue here. I dunno what got into us, but the "motion" increased in intensity and right as I decided to allow myself to lose focus for one minute and close my eyes while biting my bottom lip, the headboard fell on my head. Ouch!
You'd think he'd stop for a minute, but noooo, he got about 5 deep thrusts in before he realized that I had been "assaulted" by a wooden headboard. He was focused, man! Eventually, I guess he had to stop to make sure he wasn't smashing a dead woman, but once he realized I was still breathing and still had a pulse he burst out in a laughter...It was a rather nervous laughter, but still, a laughter, followed by a "Damnn babe, r u ok??" My response was a *blank effin stare + side eye of death*
I swear for 3 seconds, all I saw was darkness...Those were the longest 3 seconds of my life lol. Can you imagine going to the hospital and have cause of blindness : "bang-a-thon" in my medical record?? Not a good look at all.
So I decided to come up with a few tips to prevent u all from being the next victim of hazardous relations.
1) Make sure the headboard is properly fixed to the rest of the bed
2) If the heaboard isn't attached properly, have extra pillows to put over ur head and face when the relations get more intense...Just in case! (Im sure some of y'all won't mind not looking at ur boo's ugly ass fuck faces anyway!) LOL
3) If u r fucking on a bed and it starts moving, get off the bed and fuck on the floor instead. Be
adventurous! (have tylenol extra skrenff to treat the back and knee pain after the sexcapades!)
4) Have a flashlight nearby. In case a headboard falls on ur boo's dome, flash the light into their eyes and make sure that the pupils are round and equally reacting to the light. This will quickly assess nerve damage (providing ur boo doesn't already have some kind of nerve damages). This is a VERY BASIC, but useful exam.
5) I've heard about physical injuries as well (like a dislocated shoulder following a swift kick to the shoulder when she came, locked jaws, leg cramps, etc...) So be attentive to what ur lover tells u but also to what they are not telling you. Some are very sneaky lol.
6) Drink some water! It's not a good look when u pass out from dehydration and exhaustion.
7) Have some back up lube just in case!...Friction rub is painful to both lovers!
8) Last but not least, practice safe sex (or as safe as can be if u r in a long-term, committed relationship)

I hope I was able to help a few! But whatever u decide to do, have fun with it!
Toodles!
xoxo

Waiting...Not anymore

Ok ok, so I know, I haven't been around in about 10 whole months of Sundays...and *someone* has been telling me for quite a while now that I need to update my blog...Ok so between my new job as a Cardiac Surgery Research Coordinator (moving on up!), a very BUSY summer (summer school, guests at home damn near every other weekend, and traveling, I can honestly say that blogging was the last thing on a sister's mind. The people closest to me knew enough of everything that was going on in my life... But anyways, I'm back, like crack...Ok no, maybe that's not the best thing to compare myself to, even though I am addictive and someone once accused me of ruining their life...damn. That's a fucked up thing to say though. Ok so maybe the comparison fit to a certain degree. LOL.
Not.
Moving right along ---------------*moving*----------------------> Your girl has been nurturing, cherishing, embracing, loving, adoring a new love...Actually it was a love that's been there for a while, but for some reason, I've done everything in my power not to fall...And I fell. The beautiful thing about it is, that he was there to catch me and return the nurturing, cherishing, embracing, loving and adoring. So yay @ love. Pure Love. Unconditional Love. It's amazing how love forces you to see things about urself though, and I can honestly say that this has been the hardest task so far. Perspective. Self-Assessment. Self-Realization. Perception. These are things that we don't always think about...Love changes people. Whether good or bad, love has the ability, the power to change you as a person. I remember that a few years ago, I always waited for the evil, highly anticipated but feared :
OTHER SHOE TO DROP!!!!
So I never opened up completely, always stayed guarded with my thoughts, my feelings, my heart...Just in case something extremely bad happened. When things were great, I used caution in expressing my excitement, my happiness, my joy, just to prepare myself for the eventuality of a relationship disaster. It's crazy how we program ourselves not to fully embrace greatness & happiness, and what this says about us as people. Being so guarded and fearful in the past has forced me to come to a realization; I told myself the other day : "Self, do u know that all but one of ur exes got to know the real you?" Scary shit... Imagine being with someone who is scared to fully open up to you, to tell you what their thoughts, feelings and emotions are, even when things are good...That's not healthy.
Right now though, I can proudly say that that I don't wait for the other shoe anymore...I have learned to live in the moment. So when I'm happy he knows...When I'm mad he knows... When I'm sad he knows. He knows. I'm not afraid anymore, it feels like a tremendous weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. It feels great. And this not only applies to my relationship, but it applies to my life in general...Shit, all my life I've described myself as outspoken, when in reality I only became outspoken when the other shoe actually DID drop. You know, when I was so broken that to me there was actually nothing left to lose, I expressed myself so naturally and freel. I no longer hold back thoughts, feelings and emotions that have the potential to make a difference and it's oh so therapeutic. I'm not only talking about negative thoughts either. I know now that whoever is in my life and currently loving me (friends, fam, man, etc...) is loving me for ME! Flaws and all. Try it. You'll love it!
xoxo

Yes Wii CAN! (ok that was kinda lame...)

Ok my next addiction...SMH, I cannot even keep u all guessing. The title of this blog gave it away. Sooooo, yes. I was given a Wii (the last one available in Montreal that weekend) as a late Xmas gift. See, I never thought I'd become addicted to a video game...Don't get me wrong. I was born in the 80's and my parents got us everything from Atari, Nintendo, Nintendo 64, Sega CD, Sega Genesis, Nintendo 64, Super Nintendo, Game Boy, and Playstation...So yeah I played with those as a youngin and had a lot of fun doing so...Fast forward to now. I heard about the Wii so many times on the news and its benefits, and my curious nature got the best of me. I did my own research and decided I wanted to get one. Then I heard about it even more, so I decided I needed one badly... For months I have been tracking it on various websites in order to get one, and for months they have been sold out. Every store but Ebay Stores ran out...and the prices on Ebay were damn near hilarious...Ranging from 600-800 bucks...Yeah, that's a car payment and 3/4 of a mortgage payment...No thanks. So I finally got my Wii...didn't get to play with it until the next day cause I had to work late...but when I finally hooked it up...My oh my. There were no words to describe how happy and excited I was...I was having too much fun! Way too much. I tried the Wii Sports and played around for 30 mins and I was amazed at how much fun I was having. Suddenly I didn't feel as bad about skipping the gym all week long. I worked out (played) in the comfort of my home and I felt so good. The boxing is my favorite. After every K.O, I raise my hands in the air and do a lil "victory" dance...And my Mii (my Wii avatar) mimics my moves...She's baaaaaad! Bad as in good! Just like me...She just be killing 'em on the ring! The other day I (well SHE) K.O'd 5 dudes in a row...so I was like "Somebody, anybody, please gimme some ears to chew off cause I'm feeling so Mike Tyson'ish right now!!!" I am also loving the tennis game...I get my Serena Williams on and it's a wrap! No one on the tennis court got presidence like me ( presidence = new term replacing "SWAGGER" in 09 )... I am a BEAST on the court! No for real...I kill em. Bowling is fun too...I suck so hard @ baseball and golf...but what is funny is that I used to play softball and took golfing classes a few years ago. Go figure :-/ The golfing game is soooo funny cause there is an audience "Ooooh'ing and Awwww'ing" outta nowhere. I get a lot of "Awww" cause I clearly need to step my game up on the golf course. Baseball, I won't even discuss. So yes, I am officially addicted to :

Wii (smh)

I dunno if I can ever thank him enough for this beautiful gift...it was well worth the wait. I cannot wait to get home just to play with it...Oh by the way, it is a brutally honest game...My Wii fitness age was assessed

(http://http://www.nintendowiifanboy.com/2006/11/12/wii-sports-training-and-fitness-modes-documented/) and I was kinda disappointed...I thought I was doing so good LMAO! But anyways, I know that I need to decrease that number and bring it closer to my REAL age...Doesn't matter though, I still had fun trying the various games...My next purchase will be the whole Wii Fit bundle. Hopefully I will have as much fun with it... I'm @ work now and cannot wait to be reunited with it...Until then, I shall be dreaming about it. I hope.

Ok gotta go! :o)

What are YOU doing?!

Ok so it's a new year...New pic. Jacked from Shepard Fairey's theme for his Obama "Hope" and "Change" posters...Surprising? No. As u can tell from my previous entry, Barack Obama is my *obsession* ...ok sorry he's my current hero. He's so inspiring...His inauguration moved me to tears, something like 50-11 times...I felt beyond proud and honored to witness such a GREAT historical moment...I've witnessed 9/11, and it was such a devastating time...I've witnessed a black HAITIAN woman here in Canada being elected as Governor General of Canada and it made me feel proud! Witnessing Barack Obama though...wow. I can't even find the words to properly describe how I felt...Oh and it didn't help that I was on full PMS-mode. So the tears...yeah, they were ridiculous! Outta control...But I'm so glad...So proud! So inspired. So moved! I loved it! I cannot wait til he comes to Canada...I will make it an obligation to be present. Obama shirt and all...

Umm, this post wasn't supposed to be Obama related...but I just couldn't help it. I woke up in the middle of the night from tuesday-wednesday so I could catch some highlights of his inauguration on the news...And I couldnt fall back to sleep...the moment was so magical...Obama, Mr. (black) President....u owe me some much needed sleep! TY in advance...

My holiday season was...it was ok. I was with my Dad, spent good times with him. He's the bestest dad...ever. Period! Made me laugh so hard, I was in tears. The rest of the time I was alone. I worked. Nothing special. Santa was good to me...I hope everyone had good times! I wish you all a wonderful, healthy, lovely, prosperous, successful 2009...

A few posts ago, I mentionned my addiction to my Blackberry...It's still pretty serious. The night my BB was out of order, I chatted with a close friend of mine in the middle of the night, and he told me about this cool website he just couldn't seem to get enough of. He sent me the link...and since I was bored outta my mind and in full BB panic/crisis/hysteria mode, I decided to check it out...At first I checked it out in hopes that I would find a beautiful soul who could help me revive my precious BB, but alas, I didn't find anyone to help with that tragedy. So I decided to browse around the website, came accross pages dedicated to or managed by artists, celebrities, models, politicians (BARACK OBAMA too!!!) and the website become more and more intriguing and interesting...I created an account for myself...and since then, I think I am slowly, but SURELY developping an addiction to..... :

*~TWITTER~*

(bows head in shame...)

I constantly check it out for updates, or to get my Twittering-On, add new folks, follow folks around...I couldn't get enough of it, so I downloaded the TwitterBerry application for my precious BB. It's such a cool website...it's great for nosey folks...To use Twitter, one just has to answer one simple question : "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" in a maximum of 140 characters...Sounds simple...It is. It's also potentially addictive. I have been trying to change my profile picture for the past hour, and I keep getting a message telling me that Twitter is over-capacity and to try again in a few...Every second, someone updates their Twitter page by answering the simple question "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I just checked the public timeline and I counted 20 ppl who had updated their page less than 5 seconds prior to the time I checked it out...And I stopped at 20 but there were many many more...So thanks to my friend DirtyLove, I have a new, completely crazy, funny, cool addiction and it looks like it's just getting better!!! OK gotta go...Gotta make sure I can upload this new picture and read the lastest updates available...! Gotta love it! I feel so dirty inside...lmaooo!

Twit-y'all later!

Dee

(add me on Twitter : AhhDeektiv)