The day I got some "head"

Whew Lawd...I never ever thought I'd see the day where I'd blog about certain hazards. But, in light of a recent event that occurred in my life, it is a must that I do so, simply because, if I don't do it now, I may not live to warn y'all about this phenomenon. Now I usually exercise caution with most things I do in life...I am very observant by nature, and I am pretty good at detecting warning signs for potential complications and "mishaps", (spoken like a true nurse...awww!) but I did not see this one coming at all. This blog entry will be about something serious, something I'd like to refer to as:

HAZARDOUS SEX

A little while ago, I was in a bedroom just minding my business, when my bf walked in and gave me that "look"...the look that says it all, followed by the wink & the gun, wink wink, tongue click and 2 thumbs up. Next thing u know, my clothes were coming off, like "Oops! Oh my!" and we were getting it in. Switch positions, it's now him on top, putting in major work. Everything felt real good, our bodies were doing all the talking, reacting, responding, synchronizing needed for the cause. Then the bed started moving. But he's on top, and if I'm paying attention to everything, then I figure, he should be doing the same thing, right? I mean it's only fair. Right??!
Wrong! I keep forgetting that men do not think like women do, and that most of them can seemingly only focus on one task at a time. So back to this moving bed, with the motion created by the "ocean" it appeared that the bed moved 2 feet away from the wall...and from the headboard. Ok so it was my fault that the headboard was not screwed in properly, but that's not the issue here. I dunno what got into us, but the "motion" increased in intensity and right as I decided to allow myself to lose focus for one minute and close my eyes while biting my bottom lip, the headboard fell on my head. Ouch!
You'd think he'd stop for a minute, but noooo, he got about 5 deep thrusts in before he realized that I had been "assaulted" by a wooden headboard. He was focused, man! Eventually, I guess he had to stop to make sure he wasn't smashing a dead woman, but once he realized I was still breathing and still had a pulse he burst out in a laughter...It was a rather nervous laughter, but still, a laughter, followed by a "Damnn babe, r u ok??" My response was a *blank effin stare + side eye of death*
I swear for 3 seconds, all I saw was darkness...Those were the longest 3 seconds of my life lol. Can you imagine going to the hospital and have cause of blindness : "bang-a-thon" in my medical record?? Not a good look at all.
So I decided to come up with a few tips to prevent u all from being the next victim of hazardous relations.
1) Make sure the headboard is properly fixed to the rest of the bed
2) If the heaboard isn't attached properly, have extra pillows to put over ur head and face when the relations get more intense...Just in case! (Im sure some of y'all won't mind not looking at ur boo's ugly ass fuck faces anyway!) LOL
3) If u r fucking on a bed and it starts moving, get off the bed and fuck on the floor instead. Be
adventurous! (have tylenol extra skrenff to treat the back and knee pain after the sexcapades!)
4) Have a flashlight nearby. In case a headboard falls on ur boo's dome, flash the light into their eyes and make sure that the pupils are round and equally reacting to the light. This will quickly assess nerve damage (providing ur boo doesn't already have some kind of nerve damages). This is a VERY BASIC, but useful exam.
5) I've heard about physical injuries as well (like a dislocated shoulder following a swift kick to the shoulder when she came, locked jaws, leg cramps, etc...) So be attentive to what ur lover tells u but also to what they are not telling you. Some are very sneaky lol.
6) Drink some water! It's not a good look when u pass out from dehydration and exhaustion.
7) Have some back up lube just in case!...Friction rub is painful to both lovers!
8) Last but not least, practice safe sex (or as safe as can be if u r in a long-term, committed relationship)

I hope I was able to help a few! But whatever u decide to do, have fun with it!
Toodles!
xoxo

Waiting...Not anymore

Ok ok, so I know, I haven't been around in about 10 whole months of Sundays...and *someone* has been telling me for quite a while now that I need to update my blog...Ok so between my new job as a Cardiac Surgery Research Coordinator (moving on up!), a very BUSY summer (summer school, guests at home damn near every other weekend, and traveling, I can honestly say that blogging was the last thing on a sister's mind. The people closest to me knew enough of everything that was going on in my life... But anyways, I'm back, like crack...Ok no, maybe that's not the best thing to compare myself to, even though I am addictive and someone once accused me of ruining their life...damn. That's a fucked up thing to say though. Ok so maybe the comparison fit to a certain degree. LOL.
Not.
Moving right along ---------------*moving*----------------------> Your girl has been nurturing, cherishing, embracing, loving, adoring a new love...Actually it was a love that's been there for a while, but for some reason, I've done everything in my power not to fall...And I fell. The beautiful thing about it is, that he was there to catch me and return the nurturing, cherishing, embracing, loving and adoring. So yay @ love. Pure Love. Unconditional Love. It's amazing how love forces you to see things about urself though, and I can honestly say that this has been the hardest task so far. Perspective. Self-Assessment. Self-Realization. Perception. These are things that we don't always think about...Love changes people. Whether good or bad, love has the ability, the power to change you as a person. I remember that a few years ago, I always waited for the evil, highly anticipated but feared :
OTHER SHOE TO DROP!!!!
So I never opened up completely, always stayed guarded with my thoughts, my feelings, my heart...Just in case something extremely bad happened. When things were great, I used caution in expressing my excitement, my happiness, my joy, just to prepare myself for the eventuality of a relationship disaster. It's crazy how we program ourselves not to fully embrace greatness & happiness, and what this says about us as people. Being so guarded and fearful in the past has forced me to come to a realization; I told myself the other day : "Self, do u know that all but one of ur exes got to know the real you?" Scary shit... Imagine being with someone who is scared to fully open up to you, to tell you what their thoughts, feelings and emotions are, even when things are good...That's not healthy.
Right now though, I can proudly say that that I don't wait for the other shoe anymore...I have learned to live in the moment. So when I'm happy he knows...When I'm mad he knows... When I'm sad he knows. He knows. I'm not afraid anymore, it feels like a tremendous weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. It feels great. And this not only applies to my relationship, but it applies to my life in general...Shit, all my life I've described myself as outspoken, when in reality I only became outspoken when the other shoe actually DID drop. You know, when I was so broken that to me there was actually nothing left to lose, I expressed myself so naturally and freel. I no longer hold back thoughts, feelings and emotions that have the potential to make a difference and it's oh so therapeutic. I'm not only talking about negative thoughts either. I know now that whoever is in my life and currently loving me (friends, fam, man, etc...) is loving me for ME! Flaws and all. Try it. You'll love it!
xoxo